matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
