paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
