i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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