you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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