Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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