Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
