She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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