Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
