I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
