would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
