'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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