Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
