worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
