you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
