Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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