you guys were way drunker than both of me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
