Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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