Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
