Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
