Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
