I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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