if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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