omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize