Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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