guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
