Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
