I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize