i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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