Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize