just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Holy sore nipples Batman
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
