We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
