i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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