Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
