she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
