how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize