have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
