I feel like abortions should bother me more
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
