Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
