You're a womanizer and a bitch.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize