if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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