i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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