YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
