he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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