I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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