They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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