Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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