it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
