I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
