Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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