just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
