What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
