someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
