after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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