So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
this is an emotional support booty call
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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