His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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