Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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