Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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