ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
