I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
