Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
